:-( my tax!

i did badly in my Taxation today.

the first time, i dunno what to do..

the first time.. i dun even care whether it's correct or not..

juz hoped the time can pass faster and faster..

i hope not to hav a time for me to double check my ans as i hv totally no idea whether i made mistakes or i din!

hmm..

btw, it passed!

my promise myself, will study harder next sem! XD

next sem je la!

haha~

lazy.. should i contuinue to study now.. i m tired :'(

18年来的我。

我突然觉得自己白活了十八年++
今天我要来一个大“踢爆”

这十八年的我。

到底是个怎样的人。

我到底是活来干什么！

都是一些不为人知的我。

是时候改变了！

我想要另一个不同的我。

我是一个羡慕心很强的人。

其实已经到达了妒忌的境界。

总之，任何人好过我，我就从羡慕到妒忌。

往往就会变得很偏激。

考试就变成战场。

上战前的我，就会很紧张，很怕，很不想活。

为舍？

分析之后，我就是怕输，不甘心！不想别人踩在我头上！

所以，每逢考试，我都回先热身~~哭哭哭哭哭哭哭哭哭哭哭！

这些我都不敢问别人，告诉别人的问题。

别人问我，为什么你会这样？

我就会说：压力！怕考到差！（其实是原因之一）

原来，要解决问题，就要对症下药~

妈妈，VY告诉我：人不可能永远第一。

我知道，可是，我就是不甘心！不爽！不喜欢!

妈妈说：怕？！有什么好怕的？怕也要考，不怕也要考！为什么不能放轻松去考？？

我知道这个原理，可是我就是做不到!

我就是不喜欢输给我认识的人。很变态吧？！

我喜欢比较。为什么她/他可以好过我！不喜欢！

可是，我往往就忘记了，我自己也可能是别人羡慕的对象。

妈妈说：我有一个很好的家庭，父母不计较成绩，家里不等我的薪水过活~男朋友又疼我。要什么有什么。样貌条件又不差~还有什么渴望？！享受上学，享受学院的生涯，不好吗？？最重要的还是家庭。

这句倒是很值得安慰~

我很在意别人的一举一动，尤其是好过我的人。我会想要弄垮那个人。甚至想杀死他们！（哈哈，想而已)...让他/她落到我后面。尤其是当那人成绩好过我时！

但，就算你弄垮了一个比我厉害的人，世界上还有千千万万个比我厉害的人。

我真的很坏。这样的自己往往是一个人不敢面对的自己。

可是，我真的很希望这次的“告白”，会为我带来改变！真心希望。也希望有人可以开解我，改变我。

真心为我祈祷，希望这样的我，可以快点改变！不要再怕考试，不要再为考试担心，哭泣！有什么办法可以帮到我呢？

我不想再哭。。哭了十八年。每次考试。。。我真的很辛苦。。。很想死掉算了。。。

P/S: 我最讨厌那些读了书，却说自己什么都不会，还没读的人。这些下三流的伎俩是我在小时候才会做的事。=.=

Life~~ juz a merely process!

life life life~

oh my life..

one word : miserable...

study study study...

the heart is swinging.. from stress to relief.. then, felief to stress..

i hate me.. the me before exam...

cry non stop.. worrying everything..

how can i stop being like tis?

is it i hv to be like tis even at 30 years old..

ohhh, plz dont... i need someone to cure me.

is it psychology therapy is useful?

haiz..

but, juz one time, costs me 3++ bucks! NO WAY!

my future - my life

i think i will possibly change my mind not to continue my degree at Uk after CK gave us a brief.. why did my mind restricted to only UK? becoz of i had(past tense for current) bf there? og godness.. i had been studying for him? gosh!

if rm50,000 i can get a degree with a master, it's preferable. i hv to re-planning my future, re-think on the routine i m going to step on to a brighter future. no longer the "aiyo, wait to marry la! stay at home to be huang mian po." erm... maybe, this will be part of my life still.. but, i m thinking to hv a different life style which postpones my "huang mian po" sort of life~ becoz, family birngs a significant meaning to me. i hope my husband can take care for my whole life while i can take care of my parents and children whole-heartedly. career n business is ntg to me compared to the word 'family'. Y^@^Y

let's c the ingredients of the day :

- happy+sad

- stress

- laziness

my mood swings!

from sad to happy, from happy to sad. ouch!

wad is definite : no mood to study!

hmmm... ;(

yet, i still need to study no matter how..

worrying of insufficient study time..

yet, wasting time in comic.. youtube!

*err, blogging is nt counted as a waste of time right???*

the quote today:

i was born with nothing and therefore, i treasure everything ;')

say byebye to immaturity and ignorance

when a person grown up n looking backward to the routine stepped on,

there is an sense of - IMMATURITY -

still rmb?

"i dun wan to friend with u d"

"我不要跟你好了"

in dept, in the facet of -MATURITY -, all of us know there will hv no long-lasting friend as well as enemy.

as we are growing, many thing in the world becoming complicated..

yet, the matter is still the same, the nature of the thing is still the same, the subject, the object, the environment have never been changing.

yet, the biggest change is the mindset and the thought of us.

no longer the kid, no longer the thought...

as we are getting closer n closer to the reality and the complicated society.

the growth drives us to think smartly, to think wisely, to protect our own self as well..

as such, the selfishness and hatred are controlling our sense of simplicity...

the world is darkening..

the fierce of losing + the fierce of being ntg is hunting..

the FIERCE creates everything...

the world is still the same, the me is changing though...

i m a loser.... for everything

kinda down down down.....

down - omg.. exam coming!

down - omg.. my coursework is o0o suck!

down - becoz of the previous "down-s"

i m freaking despair...

bloody hell, my study is damn poor lately..

i m now out of earth.. the brain filled ntg..

wad should i do? wad should i do?!

T.T my dun wan my CGPA drops!

touch wood!!!!

i m a wonk, i admitted that!

i m not those kind of smart,

i m juz hardworking *yet shameless*

i hate tis fact..

i hate tis life..

i tried to be smart, but, i can do ntg as i m the wonk in nature.

i m juz hoping against hope.

i wanna clarify a matter to the world

" i m nt clever as i hv no link with the word 'SMART' "

contrast

Plz..... dun ever render me fading up... or else, the same thing will happen again...
y ppl will only rmb ur fault instead of wad u hv contribute to them? juz a fault will set off the goodness u did... is it tis kind of friendship is durable yet valuable? worth for u to treasure it? i doubt that... friendship includes of tolerance... m i suppose to call it a day? i doubt.. tired of comforting, tired of pretend ntg...

Strive for it!

everything seems changing..

even though it's a norm or somehow called "nature" @.@,

yet, i m still care about that..

the -ship -ship -ship again!

come on, the ships are going to sink!

i m still holding them though.. >.<

hope for a brighter tomorrow!

hope for a better days after.

not going anywhere, not running here n there,

i m here, for taking care those ships!

if all of u would be sinking,

no big deal~!

pull me down together!

becoz building a ship is not difficult, maintaining it is much more harder as it involves the efforts of others!

juz like what v have learnt, maintenance cost can be classified as both product n period cost!

y it's product cost? becoz it can be indirectly traced on the material...

y it's period cost? becoz it is needed from time to time...

i m no longer avoiding! stand n still unless.....!

so, if u are one of the ships, y not doing it together,

Ship Is For All, but NOT only U n ME......

have been watching "the Vampire Diaries" for at least 10 hours! feeling great yet tired! the script for this movie is juz so unpredictable! i hate such movie =.= render me indulging all the way round! btw, nt fun to watch it by waiting the broadcast of the movie epi-by-epi, so.. a merely breath-taking of me will do! watched it until the end, the mad me when putting myself in the fantastic movie~!

ouch! my eyes are warning me!

wad a owner for the poor "Window of Soul"

kk, i will let both of u to rest soon!

the pictures of my day!

it's time to say byebye n goodnight!

toodle-oo!

with regards!

sis, how can a tiny me achieve ur eng level? ur eng are juz so good even in boggie~ juz forget about the vocabularies u used, ur grammar are juz so nice yet fluency!

jealous + envy = despair!

>.<>

cannot be lazy!

haha~

but, ended up, still be the same me!

haiz!!!!

Clinique Star Tour

i was selected..

happy?

of course!

but, if i cant get into the final.... oh~ damn embarrassing!

if i m not selected, at least, no ppl will know..

after being selected, need to ask for vote as it will be more embarrassing if no vote for me.....

dun u think?

haiz.....

wat to do wad to do?!!!!